Best ways to react to disagreements: A Tried & Tested Guide

You don’t always have to be right, and treat others the way you want to be treated!

It is no secret that everyone encounters disagreements in their lives. It's not how many times you have gone through them, but the way you act to them that makes you right or wrong. But it's hard to know the correct ways to handle them without proper guidance. So, that's the reason I am very excited to write this article that is inspired by Ankur Warikoo’s video: 4 POWERFUL ways to calmly resolve Disagreements. The video basically explains that to resolve disagreements first listen, then analyse. Is the way the other person is disagreeing, constructive or destructive? For detailed answers read the whole article.

What are the types of disagreements?

• Name-calling: The people who call you names in a disagreement, don't have any reason to disagree with you. But they do. Probably because they hate you or something. Since they don’t have any content that they can put forward, they simply call you names.

• Ad hominem: Now, here is when things start to get a little serious. Instead of calling you names, people will attack your authority. Again they don't have any content to put forward, so they try to disrespect you by attacking your authority.

• Responding to tone: Again, no content. All they do is judge your tone. They criticise you the way you speak or write, thinking by doing this they will become greater than you. But they just don’t state the main point.

• Contradiction: Now, people will state the opposite case, but with no evidence. They will just state what they think is right, but not state why it is right. For example: You say that using cars to travel everyday is bad. And someone replies: No! Using cars everyday is fine. That's it.

• Counterargument: Here, people will contradict and try to give an explanation. But the explanation they give is not helpful to anyone. They try to give a reasonable evidence but are unsuccessful. For example: You say that using cars to travel everyday is bad. And someone replies: No! Using cars everyday is fine. I use my car to travel everyday. That's it.

• Refutation: Now, they don't have any content to support the point of view, so they find mistakes, and explain why it is mistaken using quotes. Since they don't have an option, they use the easiest way, that is adding quotes.

• Refuting the central point: Here, people will give you straight answers to why they disagree. They won't call you names or judge your tone. They will just tell you their point of view. This is the best way someone could react to disagreements.

How to react to disagreements?

Now that we know the types of disagreements, let's take a look at how to react to them:

• Analyse: First analyse the type of disagreement it is.

• React: Now here’s how to react to each type of disagreement:

1. Name-calling/Ad hominem: Ignore. The best thing you can do in these types of disagreements is to ignore it and walk away. 
2. Responding to tone/Contradiction: Acknowledge but don't do anything. Just say “I understand” then leave. When you give a weak reaction then the other person won't be able to say anything anymore.
3. Counterargument/Refutation: Listen to them patiently. They could be right. So give them a chance. If you think that they are wrong then excuse yourself from there.
4. Refuting the central point: Try to listen and understand them. Now, here they are politely keeping their point of view. So it’s your responsibility to listen and understand them.

• Learn: After this disagreement, think for a bit. You will either learn something new by hearing the other person's point of view. Or learn that talking to that person is a waste of time. And both the cases are good for you!

Bottom Line:

Everyone has problems reacting to disagreements. It’s so hard seeing someone not agreeing with you. But sometimes you gotta put your foot in someone's shoes and understand them. If you do this, your respect will grow a lot. Just always remember, you don’t always have to be right. And treat others the way you want to be treated.